On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness

I got this game yesterday in lieu of pretty much everything else I’d intended to accomplish. In fact, I suspect that the only reason I hopped over to PlayGreenhouse.com was to avoid the close analysis of a particularly unpleasant performance of Don Giovanni. With this in mind, one could feasibly conclude my first game review is little more than an exercise in procrastination.

As career game critics of the non-pandering variety, codenames Gabe and Tycho have doubtless earned a frowny face on many a shitlist. I envision offended parties who, having written their nastiest zingers long before the game’s premier, waited more anxiously than any fan for the release date so they might unleash the fury of their bloggy vengeance. Thus far, On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness shows mixed reviews.

The game opens with a palpable sense of self-consciousness, which is entirely understandable; the creators must prove much. The opening atmosphere is an apt harmony of Gabe’s unique cartooning and Tycho’s mellifluous dramatics. I may have oohed, or ahhed, and possibly even smiled to my self in anticipation.

When the actual play commenced, I was slightly disappointed. It was an M rated version of Disney's Toontown, without the benefit of online play. Fruit Fuckers abound, along with hobos, clowns, mimes, and barbershop quartets, all of whom need a good dose of murdering. You actually get to eat the dead hobos to gain a stat bonus.

The combat system is simple but enjoyable, requiring the player to actually pay attention to the battles. Well timed button pushes will block incoming attacks, and performing stronger attacks require small feats of dexterity corresponding with the nature of the strike. Gabe's fisticuffs, for example, call for rapid pounding on the space bar along with a single element of timing finess, whereas Tycho's tommy-gunning requires fast and accurate input on the WASD keyset.

The storyline is enjoyable, but ultimately unsatisfying--Having Tycho as my game-master was the pinnacle of the game experience. The story, however, fails to connect the initial conflict with the Final Boss, and after about five hours and a brief sense of triumph, I had to wonder if my victory was relevant at all. I imagine this disjointedness was designed to aid the sales of Episode 2, but I'm not curious enough to shell out another $20.

I'm afraid I cannot recommend this game. I can get PA humor for free from their website, and with zero replayability, On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness is a poor investment for anyone who can't run around trading cash for quick giggles. Buy a DVD instead. Or eat something besides Ramen. I fucking hate Ramen.