Monday, October 22, 2007

The Fall

It was begun with glorious Sun
departing from Her lands,
And purchase won by Hateful One,
with death upon his hands.
She might have wept, but wisely kept
the Warm wet of her tears,
To be spent upon the rent
when come the kinder years.

His hiss and slither shook and shivered
Her heart with icy dread.
Thence and thither, wilted, withered
the leaves that crowned Her head,
Which facing blight did fast alight
to wreath of fiery red.
A helm of war She brightly bore,
but sadly soon would shed;
An angry mutter sent the clutter
clattering cold and dead.

And with a howl, a wintry cowl
he cast upon the wood,
But from Her breast he could not wrest
that Warmth that made her good
(though he detest, and best contest,
against him still it stood).
Then with a screaming icy stream
he blew a frozen cast,
And in his fury deeply buried
beneath the blizzard's blast.

Too old for cold to crumble,
She stood in silence fast,
Spent, he stumbled mumbling numbly,
"Next year, you will not last."

Without report, she gave retort,
by facing, smiling, East,
Whence came Her Sun, His freedom won,
His debt to South released.
Before His power, Cold flinched and cowered,
like lowliest of beasts.

With gasp and scurry he scampered, hurried,
'fore his Forever Foe,
whose lofty might would surely smite,
and lay old Winter low.

"I'm not done yet," he spat his threat,
frost frothing from his mouth.
"For while you're here with mummy dear,
I can keep the South."

4 comments:

Jason said...

Interesting. And rather epic-sounding... Though I'm wondering what happened in the stanza starting "Too old for cold to crumble"... Usually, you have command of your words to the utmost degree, yet the internal rhyme in the odd-numbered lines seems to be lost here.

Ryan said...

Assuming it was done on purpose, as those who analyze poetry are wont, what might be the purpose in the sudden break?

There are other points at which the odd lines continue to rhyme with each other as well, where other lines do not, and the number of repetitions of rhyme in the even lines varies from stanza to stanza.
What are the effects, if any, of these variations?

And how would it look/read if it followed a stricter form, with set stanza lengths and rhyme repetitions? Does the lack of strict form add or detract from the overall work?

Take it further, and consider a reliable iambic meter.

The even lines are nearly all six syllables, and iambic. Iambic trimeter? Are those points at which form breaks significant?

The odd numbered lines aren't consistent in length or meter because it's too restricting. There's no significance in their variation, though the variation is caused by other devices.

I will finish by saying that it all serves a purpose, but that purpose was not in my mind when I wrote it. In fact, I'm not entirely sure it was from *my* mind.

Jason said...

Hahaha... I'm learning quite well the feeling of something not being from one's own mind...

As for the sudden break... I know not. I'll have to come back to this at some other time in order to discern such a meaning. The others you note were not so far from rhyme as to be so noticeable; poetic license is often called into play to cover such slight differences.

I hope you can trust that I have far greater interest in trying to discern the meaning than in writing a design document, but write the design document I must, as such will impact my grades.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful